Weight

As i was driving home from work on a cold, raining friday night. Best friend in singapore, everyone went back to their own humble abode dinner with family, movies.. I decided to skip pyramid and head home instead.

Clearing up closet, looking at old albums, staring at the pictures pasted on the room wall. I have changed much. Without realising the changes on my physique, primary mates, cousins, old friends, overseas guests that have not seen me for the least 1 year of my life commented how much i've change. Better? i hope so.

Weight have always been an issue. Since the little chubby people use to call. Pinching of cheek during primary. The glares of passer by as the cuteness fades.. it became 'that fat girl'. Hyppo, elephant, BIG girl... name the BIG names, i've heard it all.

Clothes, was hard to find. It was like finding a needle in a pile of sand. Shopping at the adult section was common. Big brown bag, ms read... name the plus size retails, i've at least got one baju from their shelf. Now, its being passed to someone whose probably going through the 'big' phase in life. Mind you, brands like that may not look fancy but the price is definately much much more than normal retail stuff. I guess its the usage of more cloth cause of the sizes.

Shopping at sg wang or any 'normal' retail was of course MISSION IMPOSSIBLE. Shopping was suppose to be fun for a young teenage girl, but it

wasn't then.

It gets more depressing when the style you like so much unable to

fit your big fat ass.

Topping 95kg was the max. People turned away, mothers shaking head, the pressure was on. It could not go on. Being so, nobody knows there were medical issues to address. The fat girl was not only just a fat girl, she was in fact a sick fat girl.

I always have a soft spot for young big girls. Understanding part of their life while growing up. It not only crushes your self esteem, it scars you for life.

Might just post of pictures of the super duper large part of my life when i get it scanned. You'll be shocked out of your chair, well, i was.

Still am working towards the ideal weight. Getting rid of the fats, scars and many many buldges. Theres so much work to do. It takes time. Still getting use to the fact that i'm an european size, i know i'll learn to accept it. The day will come that i will come fore front with my own physique.

I just hope and wish for the few young girls i've met that they may have the persistance. Saying the bloom of inner beauty is more important is not an excuse. Outward is as important. Its a learning process.

Cheers for the better in life!

*Pictures are for illustration purposes only.

i personally prefer smaller ones. :p