First and last

I surprised myself today. Being able to actually use the power that i had.
The outcome was not as thrilling as i thought it would be.

Through this blog, i do not hide from anyone. Rather i do not hide it on purpose.
Whatever is expressed is at some point of my journey here as a human being.
I may misjudge or misinterpret situations, but the expression comes from the genuine then.

After today's tiny incident, a soul serching is must. As i ponder upon my own character as an individual. Well, i'm not going insane if you are thinking otherwise.

I'm probably too old for this. Should have soul searched many many moons before. I am coming face to face with who i am really and my alter egos. It suprises me to actually see the various, multiple masks i can put on. It terrifies me to a certain extend.

Of course, it makes work a lot easier. Personally, its taken a toll. I never thought i could be that mean, never thought i could go that far, never thought i could make a person depressed. Being utterly dissapointed with my ownself.

Starting a relationship is easy, its just words that sweep you off your feet, gestures that makes your heart skip a beat. Then, it was all that matters. What happens if your heart does not skip that particular beat anymore, your feet are glued to the ground, your emotions suddenly vanished?

Now i stand at a side i never imagined to be in a million years. Never thought dealing with situations like this would be that tough. When i see your tears, my tears falls too. Unimaginable hurt. I swore, i'll never ever do this to another person ever again. It tears me apart just seeing you gulping it all in. But what choice was there?

60 minutes. It was the toughest 60 minutes ever in my life. It went so painfully slow.
I finally knew how the others felt. The experience will not go in vain. An experience i would treasure, the first and the last it will be.