Irreconcilable differences

Irreconcilable differences are familiar words you see on hollywood divorce papers. It is used so freaking often that its in my mind. Also, the fact that i watch E! news. :p

I always thought that we are all meant to be different or rather unique individuals. How irreconcilable and irreconcilable be? Probably my comprehension of terms and experience is not up to par. Understand me not this.

Exhausted do not justify the tired, fatigue, weariness that is in me at the moment. Taking time off is the last thing but yet the most yearning thing on my mind.

After a long day of shoot, my eyes could barely open, double visioned, the body mind and soul had their own mind. But am glad the folks that worked with me today was an awesome bunch. They did a great job! i'm impressed and am very satisfied.

After the hustle and bustle of life, when you finally be at your own little corner, own little space, with only the own little mind playing through, de-winding. But when i start thinking, head becomes heavy, increase heartbeat, just unable to focus. I think i'm sick. Sick of it all. Diagnose me please psychologist.

a long break is all i need. a little love from aussieland, sprinkled with jujubes. a tinge of sweet air of singapore with their meiji choco. MORE STRAWBERRIES. Sigh, i've missed so much. The sacrifice that have to be made to achieve another is a burden.

I don't wanna play cat and mouse games. Not for now. i may miss the yatch that passes me by, but i greet you with my white flag-like underwear. Prolly not the time yet, i've learned my lesson. so now, you learn yours. you go your way, i'll go mine and jump off a cliff.

understand me not, its complicated. i'm so screwed.

Bermaknanye tak bermakna

Bosannya dengan hidup yang terdiri dari hanya kerja sahaja. Ianya amat melemahkan semangat. Kerja mengikut masa operasi sangat menyedihkan, membuat kehidupan yang bermakna jadi teramatnya tak bermakna.

Sedang menjadualkan sesi cuti untuk akhir tahun ini, tetapi entah ianya akan termakbul. Ianya kerana jadual kerja yang amat sempit. Kerja memang tak habis.

Hidupku yang teramat sedih ini. Kadang kala, ingin buat apa sesuka hati saya, tetapi walaubagaimana ianya di-inginkan, ianya macam awan yang terapung apung di atas langit yang tak tercapai. Oh, hidupku yang sengsara. Bilakah ianya boleh diselaputi ciri ciri yang gembira dan menyeronokkan.

Tengoklah, kawan ku yang teramatnya syok sendiri. Kaki kang-kang tak terhingga. isyk isyk.

Cubaan pertama untuk mengembirakan diriku. Memang jadi.

It takes a little time, it takes a little absence.
Being painful as we are, treasure while we got it is probably the last thing on our mind.
Till, the day we realised the existence of a certain individual in our life actually meant something.
Sometimes, its too late. Sometimes, its conveniently forgotten.

There is no plastic surgery that will redeem my youthfulness, there is no facial good enough to rejuvenate my skin. When i look into the mirror, i see a sagging youth frowning back at me. I wonder to myself, who on earth is that wigley fugly lady on the other side looking back at me.

The times when i used to do nails, hanging out with no cares in the world, it is bubbly bouncing away. The college, uni times are slipping away. Theres more responsibilities, more commitments, lesser time.

My friend mourned when she turned 25. Imagine when 30 suddenly decides to creep up our bed the next day. die dot com.

Those who are used to it, which i'm so not, is preparing for Chinese New Year. Working way in advance in planning ahead has such importance. Its part of the job. I am loathing Chinese New Year and the best is Christmas is not here yet. The advances is killing me softly with its workload.

Health is taken a toll. At 25, girls are suppose to just face pre-sagging-boobs.

Sigh.

I wish everyone out there that is working their arse off a good skin, good luck and lotsa love from me. :)

Dear,

Its ok if he left you in the wondering in the wilderness,
Its ok if he left you to persue his first love,
Its ok if he decides that he wants to move on without you,
Its ok if he made the sudden decision by himself,
Its ok if he doesn't want to be friends anymore,
Its ok if he kissed the rose goodbye and buys a tulip for a change,
Its ok if he turns his back on you,
Cause he's a basket with no balls. :)

You'll be a stronger person, that i'm sure.

Stereotyping, labelling, assumptions..

Gather what you can on the first meeting, thats probably who the person really is.

What you see on the facade may not be similar inside.

People tell me i'm high maintenance. *ahhheeebulls**teeemmm*. My close friends can tell you i don't buy designer goods. Not only can i NOT afford them, i don't dream over it. period. So what if i'm high maintenance, i get the designers MYSELF. Theres no such joy as when you walk into designer shops, pick the items, and pay with your own cash. CASHHHHH... Lick me, i might like the designs and all. But i also know where i stand on cash flow.

People tell me i'm spoilt. The real meaning of spoilt is not when daddy is always the first person you call when you're in trouble. Please, i and daddy are like friends. He taught me the knick knacks of life, he taught me to change tyres and check the temperature. Of course he's the first person i'll call. So what if he paid for my car and education? My dad has his believes on providing. Not excessively eventhough he can, but just nice. I still work you know and i pay my own petrol and bills.

Not everybody will have such providing parents, i'm glad mine do. They sacrifice a lot of their material being for the children. See, sacrifice. Big huge sacrifice. Draw the line yourself, its not called spoilt.

People tell me i'm a happy-go-lucky person. Try working in advertising, try working at where i am. Nobody knows if sleeping is a problem, nobody knows if you worked till the wee mornings writing some press releases, the hurt when criticism is always around the corner. Try being happy go lucky, they will make sure that you're not. Who is? those who don't really care about what their doing. Sorry, wrong person. I care and i care damn bloody a lot.

People tell me i only go for looks. Eh please, going down to the shallowness of the shallow. Maybe i do go for looks, please give me a handsome charming prince with a kacang putih brain, give you for free also you don't want isn't it. In this era, the whole package is important. Besides, what i think is goodlooking, you might not think so.

People tell me i'm emotional. Who is not? Ya, probably those who keep and bottle up all inside. But one fine day, it'll burst. I admit i'm very emotional, not only am i a woman who has blood discharging out of my body once a month which not only bearing the pain and the uncomforting pads, hormon imbalance plays a part too. When i burst, i'm critical. When i hmph, i'll sleep over it. When i'm sad, i cry. You men don't compare us with whiny chicks who gets sore when their finger nails chipped, or throws a tantrum when you're 5 mins late. I get emotional when my hardwork is treated like a piece of trash or when you say you don't love me anymore. That, i get emotional. Don't you?

I can go on and on and on cause i'm on a ranting mood, and tired of people putting me into a certain framework. But if it rocks your sinking boat, so be it. I'm too tired to justify myself. I don't need to.