Its the second time today i opened up a new world of IT to my dearests. From chatting online to shopping, all on the mobile device. Its so cool that i feel the jitters on my skin. The opening went alright. Im sorry i missed the happening yum chas with ya'll. Its been a hectic week. The good thing is, ive been walking and running like crazy. A plus point of not driving here. But my legs are blistered. Poor pretty legs. When we ever decide to come down south, ill bring you to this ancient bread and cake making place. The smell is heavenly. They use fire wood to bake the bread. Plus, the owner's son is cute. :p At least something positive is spluttering from somewhere. Got another grandopening this november. Which so means i got a bread spree to look forward to.:) ah, little things in life now puts a smile on my face. Heck the big stuff, they dont last. Ok, that a jb update for you who sincerely missed me not appearing these few days. Signing out, the blistered kl girl in jb.

Wide stinky arms

A choice have been made.
its been sold to the devil, with a price.
It may not be worthwhile. Am adamant about it.

Everybody strives to achieve perfection. Unless of course 'i-don't-really-care' attitude surfaces.
Over lunch, i hear the word 'i wish' being repeated over and over again. On a cold rainy day, sitting at a roadside mamak with leaking roof. Undone hair with strands curling without a certain flow, make-up? i won't even go there... The situation is no where near perfect. Its not how you would want the paparazzi to catch you at.

Perfection. A perfect daughter to parents. A perfect wife to the other half. A perfect colleague. A perfect subordinate. Living a perfect life. Unfortunately, nothing is perfect, and will never be.

It is a bad day to start off even with perfection. Drowing in spilt milk won't help.
Lower than sorrows, i'm still in the office, and i'm the last one. How great can life be. Never been better!

This window was opened the entire day when i was in the office. That explains why its a here and there thing. Not to say i've always been consistent.

I can smell the poluted air of JB already, welcoming me with wide stinky arms. If i don't make it back on the idiotic, druggie looking bus driver driving the bus that starts with a 'T', i leave you this blog. Make sure a full page, full color ad of my obituary is on the Star. :p
Wish me luck.

A soul that was sold could not be returned.
A decision was made, is was uncomprehendable.
A step taken that will never turn back.
It was not enough and never was meant to happened.
The extensive heartache was a surprise.

Till i find my soul.

Dear you,

Nobody said it was easy. Indeed it wasn't. Attempted time after time but failed. How crude can life be. It was tempting and alluring. It was hard not to consider. But how many times you think some how it looks so much greener on the other side? i always do. Yet, the doubts eats you in.

Uncertainty, risks and doubts, its part and parcel of life. Choices, decisions, and words that are said cannot be un-done.

Be wise my dear friend, for words are power tools. So says the well-known master, Freud (disregarding his 'psychoanalysis' theories) "Words have a magical power. They can bring either the greatest happiness or deepest despair."

Piling with the littles in life can be stressful and burdensome. Its all for you to learn. Take heart my dear one for he will not give on to you what you cannot bear.

Today, this day, this very day. I realised how much it meant to me. I freaked out like i never did before. My mind was distorted and my limbs went numb for a second. Words was hard to formed, unable to utter a decent sentence. Emptiness sweep by me, the raw imperfect will be shown to all. Bare, nude, naked. Without it, i am nothing.

Waking up knowing that it is not with you, not by your side, not at the usual place. Just for that one day, its disastrous. I could never go by a day without it. Living in a dark pit hole was all i was this morning. Hook or by crook i must find a way to get it back. I MUST, I WILL and i did. *snicker*

Fighting through it in the morning, driving recklessly. My ultimate goal is to get it back to my arms. Needing it so badly, my mind was not right. I flew right into the heart of KL. Swerving to the far end from the other race track, grabbed it from her hands. It was like passing a football in the middle of the 'padang' filled with gigantic muscle-oozing men.

There i was, the little me right smack in the middle of Kuala Lumpur, the beautiful city. With you on my lap. Breathing became stable, hands stopped jittering, i was in total relieveness.

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.
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i was finally united with my makeup bag.


Phew, what a way to start monday morning. Thanks girlfriend!

There is hope

A miracle had happened. After fighting cancer for almost 7 over years, now been declared cancer free. The feeling of joy flooded my heart. Almost can't imagine what i saw when i read her sms.



I have read 'once a cancer patient, always a cancer patient'. After seeing medical professional's bluntness on this illness, i have somehow converted to a blunt person in this kinda issues. Not until a close aunty was diagnosed with cancer, and my granny too. My heart shattered when they news came.



I didn't realised the emotional involvement was that intense until it happened to the people close to me. Not only it was heart wrenching but the procedure and decisions were head wrecking. Hope was one that could not be taken away. Cause, it was all that we have.



An aunty of mine wrote a book about hope. She believed there is hope eventhough doctors may say she only have 6 months to live. She lived her life like never before, ceasing every opportunity she got. God rewarded her with a cancer-free body. Gone were the days of excruciating chemo sessions. Always, till now... there is hope.



And...

Its a saturday, and i'm in the office. Tell me, just tell me that my life is interesting and happening. *sigh

Till it happens again, i'm going to do some 'market survey'.

Have been trying to write but tak jadi. Thoughts are fluttered all over, its bits and pieces everywhere. Now now, where do i start. Oh yea, i didn't watch the opening of the beijing olympic. Awful yea, unsupportive.. my sis had a dissaproved look on her face when she found out i didn't catch the opening. *sigh

Met the girls tonight, it was like the old days. With our teh ohs, we chatted till late. Laughter and ultimate lameness was unavoided. We have been through thick and thins together. Studied together, and even the parting when we went out own separate ways during uni days. Still, we came back to the same old taman melawati and have our same old little chats. Years have passed, its a wonder that we're still intact with one another. I guess the bond was build on solid ground eyh.

Of course, with time, the growing, maturity, and even size has changed drastically. We can't say we were the same as we used to be. Topics now are at a different level altogether. No more 'when i get my license...' or 'what to study ah...' However, the level of imaturity somehow lugs its way in when we're together.

Part of growing up comes with more responsibilities and more trouble shooting in various issues. It has not been easy for most of us i reckon, and i betcha, theres many more bumps to go through. Some friends, you can't just find anywhere.

You know who you are. The Samantha, Charlotte and Mirandas in my life.

Technically, its already Thursday. Today is the day where i would be able to know my off day tomorrow is coming through or not. The 'assignment' was suppose to be due on Monday, but due to.. of course, unforeseen circumstances *snickers* the dateline is pushed behind.

It is either i'm a very lousy worker or its just unfortunate to be flooded by 'unforeseen circumstances'. Tomorrow is gonna fly by just as fast as today... i can't wait to just lenggang kaki on Friday.

Next month is my one year anniversary working at my current job. Can't believe time passed so fast. One year. Zoom. Gone.
Much have gained, much have lost. Be it heartache or fallings, still, life goes on. Time wait for no man. Time seems to be more precious than ever. This age, this journey, it determines the future.

Now, its time to sleep or else missy gold-fish eyes will pop up at work tomorrow, again. sigh. i think i was a gold fish in my previous life.

It is a blessing.

A blessing that made me go cloud nine, fly up the clouds with my pure white angelic wings... surrounded by what seems like candy floss cotton with clean fresh air up my nostrils.

I wonder to myself whether is it just a dream. A dream that will *poof* in the matter of time.

These few months, it was so uncertain. But when the uncertain became certain, it was still uncertain. Follow me as i say, life is uncertain. I am thinking out loud which sometimes freak my colleagues. But it really helps with the digestion of the mind...

I don't know what i'm ranting here... its Friday and i am looking forward to just sit and chill with friends. But i am working on Saturday and got a huge dateline on Monday.

Wish me 'luck'.